Is Community as Important to Us as It Should Be?

I read a book a while back called "Same Kind of Difference as Me". It is the true story of the intersecting lives of a multi-millionaire art dealer  & a homeless man. This book crushed the common concept of homelessness & laziness going hand in hand. It renewed in me the desire to give people the benefit of the doubt....a trait that is easy to forget for an ER nurse who frankly...deals with alot of bullcrap.  Recently a sequel to the book was released with additional stories from these two incredible people, titled "What Difference Do it Make?"...and yes there aren't any typos there.  This book is yet another treasure that gives me reason to believe again in the importance of being involved in your community. This short passage reminded me, again, of the community we should fight for. This particular passage was written by Denver Moore, an illiterate African American who lived homeless for years but now gives hope to those whose shoes he has walked in....

If all the Christians - and I mean all of 'em-- got outta the pews on Sundays and into the streets, we'd shut the city down. We'd shut down hunger. We'd shut down loneliness. We'd shut down any notion that there is any such of a thing as a person that don't deserve a kind word and a second chance.  

                                                 (What Difference Do it Make?, Ron Hall & Denver Moore)

In my quazi quarter-life crisis I feel a certain emptiness & disconnect from my community. Recently at church our pastor spoke about how insanely important it is to be involved in your community. Funny, (or not at all) I had kinda overlooked the importance since graduating from college a few years ago.  My focus has been more concerned with what my community has to offer me....rather than what I can do for my community. (sorry for the inevitable Kennedy reference). I just wonder if we all took Denver's idea to heart and focused one day a week on giving ourselves to our community - what kind of change we would see.  Could we end homeless for the most part? Could we change thousands of lives? Are we willing to give up our time to see that our neighbors aren't in need of an open ear or a warm meal?  I'm challenging myself to commit to my community and I hope those of you who are reading this will hold me accountable of this pledge. (Yes, you.) And...I'm hoping maybe some of you will want to join me in my efforts to create change and affect the lives of those who haven't heard a kind word lately & haven't been given a second chance.

September

Isn't it crazy how fast life happens? It seems like yesterday I was in line at CY Market buying a sausage biscuit and a Coke Icee during a Saturday morning outing. The older I get the faster life goes by. It seems like the sweetness and simplicity that used to be so evident in everyday life has now been trampled by the need for speed. Recently I've had a "chance" to slow down and enjoy home life because I've only been working 2 days a week. I got re-acclimated with the familiarity of home and how much I enjoy spending time there. Since graduating from college I haven't had a lot of time to spend at home, unless of course it involved my days off that revolved around getting things back in order, doing laundry, paying bills, etc.

My work schedule was minimized a few weeks ago...I recall my 3rd day off in a row I was sitting in my house and my chores were completed, no bills to pay, dog was walked & fed, house spotless, closet organized, meals prepared for the next 2 days....there was essentially nothing "to do". As I sat in the music room in our house I thought to myself "I haven't had a quiet moment like this in over 2 years...and now I simply don't know what to do with it". It took me over an hour to figure out how do enjoyable things again....write a note to a friend & put it in the mailbox, sit outside on the swing and scribble down 2 verses to a song, look at wedding photos that I haven't looked at in a while, realize that September was sneaking up on me and leaves would soon be falling...

I realized that God always has a plan for us, even when we don't understand the hows and whys of it all. When I was told my work schedule would be shortened I immediately worried about finances and how it would affect Craig and I....But it turns out that this "opportunity" opened several doors that I wouldn't have even considered without the extra nudge. Life is unpredictable....but it is also sweet and simplistic if we choose to see it that way.

Moving On

There's nothing like figuring out that you don't have it figured out. Sometimes things just have a way of sneaking up on you when you least expect it. There is something to be said for those who are doing exactly what they have always dreamed of. Sometimes I can't even figure out what I dream of doing...maybe I just can't remember it upon waking. I love to sing. I don't want to be a star, I just want to enjoy myself. It is liberating to sing someone else's song...its like stepping out of reality, or clocking out of life for three minutes. I have always wanted to learn to write songs but I completely suck at it, I'm okay with that. As long as somebody else has that talent, I can take care of the vocals. I recently applied to grad school to pursue a master's in nursing...but I'm not sure I'm ready for that yet. Sometimes I think I make choices based on how the end result will affect my life...instead of living out my life the way I want to. So far my method has paid off, but I'm not sure I'm totally content with where I am. I don't make enough time for what makes me feel alive. Work pushes everything else aside. I become so obsessed with ensuring my future security that I forget I may not even get the chance to enjoy it. In my line of work you see how fast life can be stripped from you...whether your 16 or 62. So today starts a new take on life for me....I'm going to love what I do.

Almost Taken.....

I went to see the movie Taken last night with a good friend. It was intense, probably the most intense movie I have seen in quite sometime. It is about a 17 year old who goes to Paris for a summer trip with a friend and is kidnapped & sold into the sex slavery ring. This movie hit a particular nerve with me because when I was 17, I put myself at risk for the same situation. I graduated highschool at 16 years old and started at Belmont University's School of Nursing, a 4 yr bachelor's program. I was the youngest in my college class, except for a British exchange student who was 1 month younger than I (Britain has less than 12 grades for schooling). I loved college. I wanted to be as involved as I could be and get the most out of it. If you aren't familiar with a 4 year nursing program the first year is all basics, A&P I-II, ecology, psychology, sociology...all the -ologies. Also included is the most basic introductions to nursing - a seminar class (where you write papers on how your nursing career will change the world, ect. ) & an assessment class (how to exam the body and know normal from abnormal findings). Your second year you learn more basics...Medical Surgical...your first clinical experience in the hospital, as well as pharmacolocy (memorizes drugs, how they work, why they work, what they are for, side effects, etc.).

So here I am my second year of school, green as a gourd, studying my ass off, memorizing those drugs for pharm, doing hours of worthless care plans on my clinical patients....I'm ready for some real excitement. Walking to class I see a poster that reads "Study Abroad in Cambodia for Nursing Students". I am already counting my money, calling my step dad, and packing my bags before I get back to my dorm. I am so excited I can't stand it. I see my boyfriend (now husband) after my class, "Craig, I've ALWAYS wanted to go to Africa!!! I have to go on this trip." His response is a big laugh ,"well than you should go to Africa....but Cambodia, isn't in Africa." But going to Africa wasn't the point, I just wanted to get out of town & see the world. So on the phone with my stepdad I begged, "Okay, so first off, don't tell mom until I have my plane ticket. I hear it's safe, we will be staying in a nice hotel, we will all stay together as group at all times... So can I go? Oh yeah & I need to borrow $500 bucks for the deposit".

I did, in fact, go to Cambodia, but thinking back now none of my excuses were true...it wasn't really safe, there was a terrorist attack in Phnom Phen 2 days after I left for The States, also I got a parasite & had a fever so high I had visual and auditory hallucinations. Our hotel...well it had running water, a hose in the bathroom to wash off with, no air conditioning, and I had dreams of a monkey getting into my room through the window that we kept open for a draft. Oh yeah, and the "group stays together" thing....thats where I almost got myself into a little trouble....

So over the month that I was in Cambodia we worked in a variety of settings. We traveled by foot, by "ciclo", by Pajero, & even in a 12 seater crop duster. I worked in the largest most advanced hospital in Cambodia...which didnt have TB masks & universal precautions was a foreign idea. You see Cambodia is as third world as it gets...the effects of the genocide from Pol Pot are still weighing down the people like a sack of bricks. It's a desperation unlike any I've ever
seen. The pain I saw in people's eyes was rooted so deep that I would never be able to fully understand it. Pol Pot brainwashed a nation, gave children guns and instructed them to kill their parents in front of their family, schooled Cambodia's youth into thinking that violence was good, and destroyed all the farmers, dentists, doctors, teachers, storeowners, etc. by chaining them in cells, beating them & then letting them die of starvation. The Khmer Rouge destroyed every ounce of intellegence they could get their hands on. If you are unfamilar with the Khmer Rouge I encourage you to see the movie "The Killing Fields"....a remarkable film on the genocide and how the US turned their attention else where. (We are talking 1968-1975 approx)

So back to how I almost got into trouble....So during the week we worked shifts at the main hospital and at the AIDs hospice, and on the weekends we traveled, saw the actual killing fields, took in the culture, visited the Royal Palace, hiked Angkor Wat, and even got 25 cent pedicures.
So on this particular day a couple of the gals I was traveling with decided it was time for a pedicure (we walked ALOT on or trip & mostly wore sandals because it was 120 degrees F there on a good day). During my pedicure I scanned the salon, noticing how tiny all of the Cambodian girls were that were working. They all had their jet black hair pulled back into a low pony tail, they were all wearing fitted red jackets with black pencil skirts, they were all very pretty, and they were "all done up". In Cambodia you rarely saw anyone who was "all done up" or wearing anything other than ragged clothing. They were different than the others. I kept looking at the red jackets and thinking "I would love a jacket like that". I tried to speak english to the tech who was doing my pedicure but she spoke no english. So I tried a little "charades" and somehow acted out that I would like to buy a jacket like hers. She pointed to the front door and motioned left, so I thought, "Okay, its sold in a shop down the street". She said "You go?" and stood up motioning me to follow her. "Great! I thought, she is nice enough to take me there". Walking outside I had a quick thought of , "Hmm...should I go somewhere by myself?..Well its just next door." The Cambodian girl quickly jump on a motorcycle that was parked in front of the salon and patted the back of the seat. It was akward and it happened so quickly that I didnt really know what was going on. If you know me, you know I don't do motorcycles...period. Typically, I dont do motorcycles in foriegn third-world countries with strangers, in a country thats know for kidnappings and sex slavery rings...but for some particular reason I had a lapse of good judgment. I dont know if I was too afraid of offending the girl by saying NO when she was just doing me a favor...right? We sped off on the mo-ped...we went straigth for 3 blocks, then she took a left down a side road, when we went south on the side road for about half a mile I started freaking out. "This is it", I thought...."Im a f****** idiot. There is no shop next door. She is taking me to Vietnam or China or somewhere far far away." The mo-ped kept on trucking and I had my arms so tightly around this stranger not only because of my fear of motorcycles but because I thought she might be the last person I would ever see. "This cant be happening". She took a right on a small alley way and traveled about another half mile. In my head I was trying the memorize each turn so that if in fact I did get loose and had the chance to run I could find my way back to the area I was staying and maybe even a familar face. It all happened so fast, my head was spinning with horrible thoughts...the first being "I can't believe I am this stupid". From the alley she slammed on the brakes and turned in the back of a warehouse. She jumped off the moped and motioned me to follow. Scared shitless I did as I was told. I walking through a dark hall and then through a door that opened into a huge open room with 20 ft ceilings. In the room there was about 60 Cambodian women lined up at 60 sewing machines working at Olympic speeds sewing garments. It was hot as hell in this room....the women ranged from 12-60 and had beads of sweat pouring from their brows as they slaved away. The girl who "kidnapped" me yelled some foreign words loudly and out from a back room can a big fat Cambodian man who was balding... (big in Cambodia is 5'6", fat being 175lbs...people seem miniature there). The napper kept jabbering at a rate like Lucille Ball and then the man ran back into the room. "This is it, he's going to get the duct tape and the bag to put on my head". He comes out with a measuring tape and begins to roughly measure my waist, bust, hips, shoulders, & biceps. (24" 38" 24"....haha) No English had been spoken yet. I was probably hyperventilating at this time. The man walks again back in the room and returns with wall calender, like the one's you get from Moody's tire shop, except it wasnt in English. He points to a date on the Calender with his fat finger and says "You" and then quickly points to the kidnapper's red jacket. "Ohh...." A sigh of relief comes over me, maybe it was the grace of God coming over me. My respirations slowed and I began to see a light at the end of the tunnel, and this time I didnt feel like the light was train. I follow the girl back out of the sweat shop (no, its not a term to use loosely now that ive been to one) and we hop back on the bike and ride back to the salon. I feel like I've been given a new chance at life...its a miracle. I made it to the salon where my co-travelors were begining to wonder if I would ever come back. That day created some new life rules that I will abide to for the rest of my life.....A) Dont be afraid to offend people B)Be thankful for second chances and last but certainly not least....C)Think before getting onto motorcycles with strangers.
God bless you all & may you make better decisions than I have. Will post a few Cambodian pics soon.

Go(at)ing Places: Are we?

Thousands are losing their jobs, ice storms have killed 43 in Missouri, corporations & plants are closing their doors, the housing market is a crap shoot, the health care crisis is worse than ever, and the PB in our PB&J is poisonous.....Wow, what a month we have had & what a way to ring in the new year. Our nation is vulnerable.....and yet millions will forget it all for at least a few hours and watch The Steelers & Cardinals (...the who?) battle it out in the Super Bowl tommorow. A mental break from the reality of our nation's current situation. But somehow I seem to not be able to forget it, even for a few hours.

I guess I feel somewhat guilty for the status of our nation. We outsource our goods, our food, our jobs, our oil, ect. When is last time you bought something that was "Made in the USA", called a 1-800 number & spoke to an American, or ate a meal that was grown on our soil? We seem to have no problem pouring all our money into China & India's economy. And I'm guilty as the next. Is it convienience, laziness, or do we just not care? Is it more expensive to buy American products or pay Americans for their labor? Surely not in the BIG picture. We pay Americans/buy American products our money goes back into OUR economy. We pay for foreign labor/buy foriegn products our money is never seen agian. ......Is it greed? Is the corporate world only concerned with their big budget salaries?

I owned a Dell computer in college. The computer got a virus (as they all do eventually) and I was left with nothing but a black screen and a 1-800 number for Dell support. I called the number & I remember the girl answering my call with a thick accent saying "Good Morning and thanks for calling Dell Support"....to which I reply "Morning? Its nine pm! Where are you answering this call from?". She was in New Dehli, India. I was shocked that I was talking to someone in India about a problem I was having in Tennessee. Dell is a company born in the heart of Texas (Round Rock, I think) - I'm sure its cheaper to outsource their Support personel to India but why not spend a little more to employ our citizens & feed the money back into economy. I'm not for sure, but I'm guessing Dell's only real market is in America (since China & Japan dominates the techno world).

Do you remember McDonald's "All-American Meal"? My McD's memories as a kids were limited to the All American meal because that is all my brother & I were allowed to order. (Our only choice was cheese or no cheese.) When I went off to college I soon understood why my mom only allowed us to order the AAM - it was the cheapest thing on the menu. I tried to order the AAM my first year of college, only to be told by the cashier "We dont carry that anymore." I ordered my meal seperately (burger + fry +drink), but was still curious as to why the AAM was no more. Well I found my answer. McDonald's stopped buying American beef and began serving beef from New Zealand (because it was cheaper). So selling the All-American Meal would have been a fraud. With the beef & cattle industry suffering as it is in America, I wonder what impact it would have if the millions of burgers sold by Mickey D's were benefiting American farmers & ranchers instead of New Zealand.

Am I saying we should buy only American products? No, this would be near impossible. But looking at the big picture it makes sense that if heavy outsourcing would stop our economy would be fueled and there would be more jobs to be had.

So are we going places? Well look over the contents of the $819 billion dollar stimulus package that was just past by the House.......It makes me think maybe we aren't.